Greetings please help me.

BlueDragonfly's Comments are always in purple italics:
Subject: Greetings please help me.
From: Barbara Cole bcole@o2.co.uk
Reply-to: bcole013@yahoo.co.jp (Hmm...completely different from the sender's email address...)
I'm Barbara Cole, I'm 15 years old girl (Seriously?) I live in Bolton UK (With a reply-to address at a .jp (Japan) domain?) before my Dad passed away in a car accident 3 years ago, I now live with my step mum in Warrington, My mum died immediately she gave birth to me. My late Dad Mr.Norman Cole was a big business man in UK before he died in a car accident 2007 I am the only child of my Dad, he died 3 days after the accident so he Will all his life savings to me, I have been trying to collect the funds from the bank but the bank MD CEO refused, he said I should present someone old enough so he can transfer the funds to the person that I can’t be in control of the huge amount of funds because I am still a teenage (You're a teenage, huh? Funny, I thought the word was teenager...) and it is against the UK law. (Love the lack of punctuation in this intro.)
I would have told my step mum to assist me in collecting the funds from the bank but she is not a good woman, my Dad warned me about her before he died, now that I live with her I now understand that what my Dad said about her was true, because she don’t give me attention she don’t care if I am alright or not, all she do is to take hard drugs and bring different men to the house (I have never heard a Brit speak like this...I'm pretty sure the English use proper English grammar for the most part...). I don’t want to have anything to do with her. If I get her involved in this she will use all the funds to take hard drugs. All I wish for right now is someone old enough and honest to help me collect my funds from the bank as I am still a teenage (there it is again...she's a teenage...love it!) and it is against the UK law. Why I can't wait until i am 18 years is because what my step mum is doing to me is not fair and i don't want her to Influence (...and the word influence is capitalized why?) me with her bad life style i just wan't to live so i can live a better life.

I know we don’t know each other but please I need your help if you can assist me to collect the funds from the bank I will give you 50% out of the funds, Then you will help me invest my 50% until I am 18 and I will be staying with you or you will get somewhere for me to stay until I am 18 years old. (Money and she's going to live with me? Wow...funny...I don't recall extending that invitation...)

If you agree to help me, I will send you a copy of the Will and my picture so you will know me, and I will send you the contact of the Bank and tell you how much is the funds so you can contact them, and I will inform the bank that you will contact them that you are the person that want to help me. (And I'm positive that the photo will be real...lol)

I will be waiting for your urgent reply so I can send you the contact of the bank and my father’s Will and death certificate.

Please this letter has to be confidential,and I need your 100% trust and loyalty because the lawyer I got involved wanted to made away with the money (...he wanted to made away with it, huh? Not make away with it?), so I told the bank not to transfer the funds to him, I already promised to give you half of the funds so please be honest with me. (Ooh...be honest with you because you're so honest with me?)

If you are interested please reply me (...reply you? Really? Simple grammar, here...or lack thereof...) on my email: bcole013@yahoo.co.jp.
Best Regards
Barbara Cole

This one is downright brimming with cute little red scam flags. If this email was actually written by a 15-year old English girl, then why the hell can't she speak English?!

If this post helped you or prevented a scammer from gaining another victim, let me know!  I'd love to hear your comments.